Boredom Leads to Obesity 2.0: Glamorous Snackage.

11 Jan

almond cupcake with baby cheesecake inside...

Nothing like a good old five weeks at home to force me into a creative freak-out.  I don’t mean to imply that I don’t usually cook this way, but let’s just say boring times have turned themselves into armies of delicious, calorific concoctions.  I don’t mean to be dramatic…

Then how much snackage are we talking about? You might wonder, as you munch on your pathetic 100 Calorie Pack of filling-less “Oreos.”

Lots of snackage.  How do I so snack?  Let me count the ways:

Purple Yam ice cream was the precursor to all,

Mauve in color, but speckled with marshmallows–

A take on the classic sweet potato casserole.


Malted, salted peanut ice cream followed,

Creamy and unctuous and sandwiched in cookies.

As we munched, in satiety we wallowed.


Once in the mood for cornbread, I created a monster:

A large corncake Twinkie with lime buttercream

Filled the absence of that taste I so longed for.


The finale of the baking rage was the most epic–

I baked mini cheesecakes into cupcakes…topped with cream cheese frosting,

A dollop of bananas foster, and Cap’n Crunch–sick.

almond cupcake with bananas foster and cap'n crunch. and a baby cheesecake inside.

Now go ye to your kitchen and make some Twinkies;

My recipe makes Hostess’s look stinky.

Cornmeal Twinkies

1 1/2 c yellow cornmeal

1 c AP flour

1 t baking powder

3/4 t baking soda

1/2 t salt

1 c sugar

4 oz butter

2 oz duck fat

2 eggs

1 c buttermilk

juice and zest of one lime

  • Preheat oven to 350
  • Whisk together dry ingredients
  • Melt butter and duck fat
  • Pour melted fats, eggs, buttermilk, and lime juice and zest into your dry ingredients
  • Mix until homogenous
  • Bake in Twinkie or cupcake molds for about 25 minutes or until baked through

Lime Buttercream

2 egg whites and a pinch of salt

1/2 c sugar

1/2 c water

12 oz butter

2/3 c honey

1/2 t vanilla

1 lime

  • Beat egg whites and salt to medium peaks in a standing mixer
  • Meanwhile, boil the sugar and water in a small saucepan until you reach the soft-ball stage on a thermometer
  • While running the mixer, beat the syrup in, pouring a thin stream in the side of the bowl until well incorporated and you have a bright, thick meringue and the mixing bowl is cool to the touch.
  • When the bowl has cooled, beat in the butter in 2 oz portions until fully incorporated.
  • Beat in honey, vanilla, lime zest, and lime juice.
  • Inject buttercream into twinkies or cupcakes or just frost them!

    cornmeal twinkie with lime buttercream!


One Response to “Boredom Leads to Obesity 2.0: Glamorous Snackage.”

  1. Mitch Bogdanffy February 18, 2011 at 2:02 am #

    Homoeostatic mechanism : in ur test tube put right shit n in get right shit out…. No??

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